5 Reasons Fall in Chicago is Awesomely Horrifying

by admin on September 27, 2012

5. It goes from 95 degrees at 100% humidity to 60 degrees and breezy overnight. Instead of being relegated to whatever bar has the AC cranked the highest, you have your pick of outdoor patios at which to lounge. Plus your balls don’t stick to your thighs, amiright guys?

4. That wonderful respite from the scorching heat lasts about 1 week before the temperature plummets indefinitely and the general public morale drops through the basement. Three weeks ago, you used to greet neighbors with a polite “hello” and now you’re all “I will ram my honda up your ass and out your nose if you take the parking spot closest to the door, you gashcanyon.”

3. Halloween and fall decorations abound. The smell of spice and cider seem to drift through the air everywhere. People bumrush the local Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. It is a free pass to take a slight vacation from the nagging hardships of adulthood and indulge in the simpler things, like candy and hard cider.

2. Fuck you, Target. Christmas is TWO AND A HALF MONTHS away.

1. Let’s be real – Chicago is gorgeous in the fall. The juxtaposition of the changing trees against a background of regal skyscrapers is a sight to behold.

Plus, hard cider. Did I say that already?

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Nice to Know You

by admin on September 25, 2012

During my daily lunch run today – a necessary break from the workday and a perk I am afforded thanks to a virtual office – an old but favorite song came on. I’ve always been a fan of Incubus, but my musical tastes vary so greatly during different periods of my life that it has been a long while since I listened.

“Nice to Know You” came on, which not only boosted my pace but apparently my brain power as I found myself dissecting every lyric of this song. As an aside, Googling “what is the meaning of [name of song here] is an awesome time-waster. I mention this because people’s interpretations of these lyrics ranged from “It’s a song about being high and getting sober” to “It’s about the time the dude was on an airplane and his hand fell asleep for 10 days.” Lolwut.

Also amusing is feeling the mix of adrenaline, endorphins and the places my mind goes when I’m most clear in my own head i.e. when I am running. I don’t have any profound personal interpretations of the lyrics but I certainly have a personal appreciation for their simplicity and elegance and their ability to metaphorically slap me out of the tunnel vision I’ve had lately.

Some of what I find to be the most poignant tidbits:

“Perspective pries your once weighty eyes and it gives you wings.”

Read: pulling your head out of your own ass (or someone else’s) and doing a quick 360 of your actual surroundings is freeing.

“Blessed she who clearly sees the wood for the trees.”

Knowledge is power but too much of it has the potential to be binding. Sometimes it’s best to take a step back and mentally air dust the shit out of your brain to blow away the fuzz and static aka unimportant details that are muddling your impetus and actions.

“To obtain a ‘bird’s eye’ is to turn a blizzard into a breeze.”

This is one of my favorite lyrical treats of all time because of the visual it paints in my mind and also because I live in Chicago and fuck blizzards. In Chicago-speak, Boyd is essentially saying “To see the bigger picture is to turn Snowmapocalypse to a Saturday afternoon in early June on the patio of Kirkwood.” Touche.

Anyone agree with those sentiments? Disagree? What are some of your all-time favorite lyrics? Would you have rather seen me dissect the meaning of “Pop That” by French Montana feat. Drake, Lil Wayne, and Rick Ross?


Also, sorry my site currently looks like dog poop. To compensate, here is a gif for you as well as a representation of how I will feel if more than two people read this post.



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Tweet As stated in my last post, @threepibbles and I were slated to go to the Yelawolf show at Bottom Lounge. It. Was. AWESOME. Some guy was tackled by security within the first ten minutes of our arrival and his cocaine went flying everywhere. Yup, his coke. Everywhere. Tits! After that melee, we just sat […]

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October 20, 2011

Tweet @threepibbles and I are going to see this badass at Bottom Lounge tonight. All I can tell you is that I discovered him very recently and I don’t have a Lambo, but he can drive anything else of mine anytime. Except for my ‘rolla. That bitch is my baby. Shady 2.0 Cypher 2011 http://vimeo.com/user8901189/shadycipheruncutshadycipheruncut

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So Then Alan Alda Scolds Me

August 22, 2011

Tweet Do you ever have dreams that make it blatantly obvious that there is something wrong in your life? Like your life is a giant fuckball deep-fried in diarrhea and set aflame? No? Ok, well, I did a few nights ago. Typically I have messed up dreams every so often and I am able to […]

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“If She Wants to Spend the Rest of Her Life With Batman…”

May 25, 2011

Tweet Season after season, I continue to torture myself by tuning in to and/or OnDemanding episodes of the Bachelorette. This season features Ashley Hebert as the girl looking for love and she seems super cute, which is why I don’t understand why the fuck she needs to go on ABC to find a man. She […]

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Bear With Me

May 9, 2011

Tweet In a burst of creativity borne of the sudden presence of sunlight, I began messing around with my header this weekend. It is, obviously, a work in progress. Since it may or may not have blinded some of you, I’m including some neat pics I took at an outing to the Lincoln Park Zoo […]

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Take the Hint.

May 7, 2011


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Nic Cage is Famous, Batshit

April 18, 2011

Tweet I guess this video is more pertinent than ever as good ol’ Nic was arrested in the French Quarter for acting like a lunatic recently. In other breaking news, Lindsay Lohan is a crackwhore. The FUCKING HANGERS!!!!1!111!!!!

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Precious Gems from my Past

April 6, 2011

Tweet Today is a lucky day for us, indeed. I was cleaning out my inbox and came across some gems from a guy I “dated” for, um, 10 days. We met online so I didn’t completely know what I was getting into (hint: deep shit and/or a shallow grave). The first time I met him, […]

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