5 Reasons Fall in Chicago is Awesomely Horrifying

by admin on September 27, 2012

5. It goes from 95 degrees at 100% humidity to 60 degrees and breezy overnight. Instead of being relegated to whatever bar has the AC cranked the highest, you have your pick of outdoor patios at which to lounge. Plus your balls don’t stick to your thighs, amiright guys?

4. That wonderful respite from the scorching heat lasts about 1 week before the temperature plummets indefinitely and the general public morale drops through the basement. Three weeks ago, you used to greet neighbors with a polite “hello” and now you’re all “I will ram my honda up your ass and out your nose if you take the parking spot closest to the door, you gashcanyon.”

3. Halloween and fall decorations abound. The smell of spice and cider seem to drift through the air everywhere. People bumrush the local Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. It is a free pass to take a slight vacation from the nagging hardships of adulthood and indulge in the simpler things, like candy and hard cider.

2. Fuck you, Target. Christmas is TWO AND A HALF MONTHS away.

1. Let’s be real – Chicago is gorgeous in the fall. The juxtaposition of the changing trees against a background of regal skyscrapers is a sight to behold.

Plus, hard cider. Did I say that already?

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

ChrisJ October 15, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Re: Target (and others) showing Halloween and Christmas decorations together —

Start putting zombies in the manger scenes, and skulls on the Christmas trees. Every little bit helps.

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